Teleplay by Carol Leifer & Peter Mehlman, Story by Etan Cohen, Directed by Leonard R. Garner, Jr.

Guest starring Brian McNamara as Roger, Ashlee Levitch as Tracy, Dylan Neal as Kevin

Also starring Audrey Wasilewski as woman

Co-starring Harry S. Murphy as Ted Gilmore, Carol Leifer as facilitator, Alison Marshall as waitress

Robbie: "You know, I once slept with a grandmother."
Arthur: "Really?"
Robbie: "Well, it was a grandomother from Alabama. She was like, 32."
Arthur: "Oh."

Robbie: "I have fixed up guys with plenty of women, it's just that at the last minute I decide to go out with them."

Jennifer: "We are the only civilized country that allows a state to murder its own citizens in the name of justice."
Shrug: "I don't think we murder them in the name of justice, we murder them in the name of revenge."
Jennifer: "Revenge is horrible."
Shrug: "No, no, no, revenge is sweet."

waiter: "We have one special tonight, the Lake Superior Whitefish."
Kevin: "Ah."
Lauren: "You have any Lake Michigan Whitefish?"
waiter: "Excuse me?"
Lauren: "Uhg, I just can't stand Lake Superior. I mean how arrogant is that? Lake Superior. They're all great lakes."

Arthur: "You are not going to believe this girl, she's like 21 going on Janis Jplin. She's like the unholy grail."

waiter: "Oh, we have a new policy here. If you use a cell-phone in the restaurant we take your food away."

Jennifer: "You're pro death penalty?"
Roger: "Oh, yeah. Aren't you?"
Jennifer: "Me? Absolutely. I mean, come on, an eye for an eye, a tit for a tat, you say tomato, I say fry the bastard."

Kevin: "I'm a bore?"
Lauren: "You're a total snorus borealis."

Lauren: "So how many women have you slept with in your life?"
Robbie: "I dunno."
Lauren: "How about Artie?"
Robbie: "I dunno... divided by ten."

Lauren: "I had a really nice flirtation with this guy at this red light."
Robbie: "Yeah? What was he driving?"
Lauren: "Audi A6."
Robbie: "Blue?"
Lauren: "Silver."
Robbie: "Sounds like a nice guy."