Season 1, Episode 5: Two Days in the Valley

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"I've been in Los Angeles for awhile. It's like an internment camp, y'know? More pleasant than jail, but still really hard to escape from." -Arthur

"A medium-rare hamburger is a corner-stone of human civilization." -Shrug
"Any civilian knows this." -Arthur
"Well, I've reached my limit. I've had it. Everything we were promised as children, lives full of sugar, sun, sex, booze, hookers, gas guzzlers, cuban missiles, cold wars, hair.... They've all been taken away! The medium-rare hamburger is all we have left!" -Shrug

"The address is one nine seven nine eight nine seven three four one Ramsey Street. Van Nuys, California." -Shrug
"Whoah." -Robbie
"Oh my God." -Jennifer
"Oy vey." -Lauren
"What's wrong?" -Arthur
"It's the valley." -Shrug

"Arthur, this woman lives in the San Fernando valley. That's like venturing into the forbidden zone in 'Planet of the Apes.'" -Shrug
"Imagine yourself in a parched desolate zone of L.A. so literally gorged with strip malls and noxious hydrocarbons permeating every corner of an area so oppresively declase, so negative chic you'd think you're knee-deep in 1958. I went to the valley once before I knew any better... I still wake up screaming." -Robbie

"Ooh, that is a sexy burger." -Beverly

"I mean, after all, it's like, you know, Rosh Hashanah." -Rabbi Brach


Written by Dawn Urbont, Directed by John Whitesell

Guest starring Ann Marie Johnson as Cubil, Ernie Grunwald as Ernie, Gregory Itzin as Chuck, Hiram Kasten as Bert, Connie Ray as Beverly, Steve Vinovich as Rabbi. Co-starring Daniel Escobar as Charles, Rick Scarry as Gerald, Gretchen Stockdale as Blonde, Louisa Abernathy as Sonja, Bobby Brewer as Troy.

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