Written by Richard Doctorow, Directed by John Whitesell

Guest starring Ernie Grunwald as Ernie, ? as Ted

"You know who she massaged yesterday? Hmm? Hmm!? Larry David. He's the creator of Seinfeld." -Shrug
"CO-creator." -Robbie

"Why do they call the pound key the pound key? How come Teflon sticks to frying pans? Why is Jesus the only biblical character with a last name?" -Shrug

"See, now it's like, you know, I don't pity you." -Ernie

"Screw acting, I got promoted to head waiter. Yeah, acting is for jack-asses." -Ernie