"I was tortured by that memory for years. I never thought I'd get over it. Eventually, y'know, time passed, I moved on... to fresher and more horrible faux pas." -Shrug

"I have salmon for lunch every day. It's like, you know, full of protein." -Mindy

"The problem is, is that once there's love, there's sex, and once there's sex you gotta shave every day." -Robbie
"Tell me, I have legs." -Danna

"At first I was upset. Then I thought, so, she likes me for my money. I mean, let's face it, I like her 'cause she's a model. So, Danna and I discussed it..." -Robbie
"...and you came to a mutual superficiality agreement." -Arthur
"Yeah. We decided to make our superficiality work for us." -Robbie
"And you call that a relationship?" -Arthur
"No, the city of Los Angeles calls that a relationship." -Robbie

"I don't want to go out with her again. She's in public relations." -Arthur
"So?" -Lauren
"She lies for a living." -Arthur

Written by Peter Mehlman & Jon Hayman, Directed by John Whitesell

Guest starring Suzanne Lanza as Danna, David Purdham as Dr. Mnemonroe, Nia Vardalos as Mindy, Steve Witting as Jace. Co-starring Nicole Cortez as Model, Cathleen Kaelyn as Rebecca, Matthew Fonda as Harvard guy #2, David Haydn-Jones as Harvard guy #1, Seth Isler as Herb Caladay, Christopher Liam Moore, as Waiter, TJ Thyne as Waiter 2.