"Don't your eyebrows ever get out of control?" -Robbie
"I don't know. Being me doesn't really require my full attention." -Arthur

"Don't ask me anything about America. I don't know anything about it. I'm from New York." -Arthur

"We have a report of a high-speed chase in progress on the eastbound Ventura freeway near Oxnard, which is what, 140 miles from Los Angeles." -Barney the Anchorman
"Actually, it's like, you know, sixty." -Kate the Anchorwoman

"A high-speed chase brings L.A. to a grinding halt. It's like our version of a snow-day. People stop working, stop driving, stop sleeping, stop putting, stop acting, stop tanning, stop winning, stop losing.... Whatever they're doing they just stop and get to a TV set." -Robbie

"Why doesn't he give up? He can't get away." -Jennifer
"Why not? He's in a German car. The cops are in what? Like, Plymouths?" -Lauren

"I think this anchorwoman is cute. Arthur, you should make her your girlfriend." -Shrug
"Does it work like that?" -Arthur
"I don't know." -Shrug

"This guy is so stupid. He shoulda grabbed a hostage, then he could've used the carpool lane." -Lauren

"Hi, Mom." -Arthur
"I see on the news in California they're chasing someone. Are you okay?" -Arthur's mom
"Mom, I don't live on the highway. I'm in a house." -Arthur
"Arthur, maybe you should come home." -Arthur's mom
"Mom, can I call you back?" -Arthur
"Wait 'till after five when the rates change." -Arthur's mom
"Okay." -Arthur
"Unless Robbie's paying for the call." -Arthur's mom
"Okay." -Arthur

"The American Express Card. Don't change your face without it." -Jennifer

Written by Peter Mehlman, Directed by John Whitesell

Guest starring Suzanne Cryer as Kate the Anchorwoman, John Bennett Perry as Barney the Anchorman, Roger Rose as Roger Klesko and The Pilot. Co-starring Kato Kaelin as Himself, Sheryl Bernstein as Mrs. Graham, Clifford David as Televangelist, Mary Gregory as Mrs. Garment, Zack Phifer as Phil, Deedee Rescher as Mrs. Beckworthy, Ping Wu as Maitre d', Jeff Miller as Shopkeeper, Jeff Raycher as Lifeguard, James Sie as Delivery Man, Frank Uzzolino as Hare Krishna.